Reclaiming Your Self-Esteem & Identity After the Pain of Divorce

Uncategorized Jul 15, 2020

Our self-esteem can take a beating during our divorce. The sense that we’ve lost part of ourselves, the pity of others and feeling like a failure all contribute to it. 

The good news is, self-esteem is something that can be rebuilt and it’s in our control. The aftermath of a divorce is a great opportunity to reclaim parts of ourselves that we compromised, sacrificed and lost in our marriage!

But we need to commit to releasing our past to do that. 

How do we remind ourselves of our value, and begin to feel good about ourselves again? In this episode, I share how to get self-esteem back after divorce knocks it down.

 

 

 

3 Things You’ll Love About This Episode 

 

Change your focus to raise your self-esteem 
Negative thoughts come from us trying to drive forward while looking in the rearview mirror. If we keep shedding light on the negatives, we end up defining ourselves by them. 

 

Understand how divorce can shake...

Continue Reading...

Ending Our Marriage Brought Us Closer Together w/Nikki DeBartolo and Ben Heldfond

Uncategorized Jul 08, 2020

For most people, the idea of a ‘happy divorce’ is incredibly confusing. How can those words even belong in the same sentence? If we’re capable of being happily divorced, should we not just consider getting back together with our former spouses? The truth is, it isn’t that simple. 

It’s possible to love an ex-spouse without being in love with them, and that’s what we need to aim for if we want to successfully co-parent with them. 

Still, divorce can be a warzone and there are many landmines we have to get past if we want to be genuinely happily divorced. 

The best way to move past the landmines is by agreeing to put our children first, in every decision we make.

On this episode, co-founders of Our Happy Divorce, Nikki DeBartolo and Ben Heldfond share how to move beyond the warzone and embrace a happier divorce.

 

 

3 Things You’ll Love About This Episode 

 

Take out the ‘co-’ and just be...

Continue Reading...

Grief in Divorce: How to Embrace It & Use It To Grow

podcast Jul 01, 2020

Divorce brings about a roller coaster of emotions like fear, anger and/or loss. And it is comforting to know that whatever you are feeling IS normal and others do experience similarly. Divorce brings about grief - grief of many things.  Loss of the marriage, loss of your family, loss of the dreams you had and SO MUCH MORE. While we all grieve differently and for different reasons it is important to understand what the stages are and how they work.

 

Grief is a close counterpart of divorce recovery; expect it and allow it. You’re going to grieve the loss of the identity of what you thought your family would look like, the loss of love and companionship and the end of life as you knew it. 

 

You may feel like grief brings nothing but pain, but this is temporary. It’s also necessary, and you’ll discover hidden silver linings and blessings within it. Grief is a process, and as you move through the journey, you will get stronger. 



That’s...

Continue Reading...

I Left My Marriage With Nothing & It Was The Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me w/Sonia Queralt

podcast Jun 24, 2020

Living in an unhappy marriage and going through the process of divorce can feel like a constant internal tug-of-war, filled with guilt, regret and feelings of failure. The truth is, divorce is brutal and life changing and there is just no way around that. 

 

But that doesn’t mean that being divorced is worse than staying in your marriage. Divorce doesn’t have to just be something you can survive. It can be the launching pad for the life you really want, and the catalyst for your incredible next chapter. 

 

Divorce has its inevitable hard moments, but it’s worth fighting for your happiness, finding your inner voice and balance again. But to get there, we’re going to need to go through guilt and the reactions of our loved ones. 

 

How can we avoid getting caught up in a downward spiral of guilt and shame? How do we deal with the reactions of our loved ones? In this episode, divorce litigator, divorce survivor and co-founder of...

Continue Reading...

Advice for the Hard Days: Experiencing the Milestones of Life After Your Divorce

podcast Jun 17, 2020

Whether you wanted your divorce, saw it coming or not, life after splitting up won’t look the same as before. You’ll feel this especially and significantly when you have to experience your first big milestone post-divorce. For me it was my son’s graduation. 

 

Leading up to it, there were so many raging emotions that made me dread the day. 

 

Then I realized that I was allowing my past to dictate my present. I was letting anger and fear control me. We always have the power to choose what to do. How do we handle milestones within our new reality? What does moving on after divorce actually look like? How can we start to come from love and compassion instead of fear and anger towards our ex? 

 

In this episode, I talk about an important lesson I learned as I experienced a challenging post-divorce day.

 

3 Things You’ll Love About This Episode 

 

How to cut your emotional tether to your ex

When we are constantly...

Continue Reading...

Finding Peace During Uncertainty

podcast Jun 10, 2020

One of the toughest challenges of going through a divorce is answering the question “what comes next”, and adjusting to the fear of not knowing the answer. 

 

The truth is we grow and find peace when we lean into the fear of the unknown instead of trying to actively avoid it and be in control all the time.  Surrendering is key. 

 

But that means we have to sit with our uncertainty, instead of clinging to how things used to be or how they should be. It’s okay to feel nervous and uncomfortable when everything is changing. The problem arises when we try to fight the fear. How do we come to peace with the unknowns that come with divorce?  

 

In this episode, I talk about how we can become more comfortable with uncertainty and maintain greater inner peace.  

 

 

3 Things You’ll Love About This Episode 

 

The danger of telling ourselves stories when we feel uncertain 

When we feel...

Continue Reading...

Setbacks

podcast Jun 03, 2020

 

Healing from divorce is certainly not linear. You will have highs, lows and setbacks that trick you into believing that you’re regressing. It’s normal to crave an end to the challenges. 

 

But setbacks are actually necessary. They are an important part of your road to recovery, and the path to a bigger and better outcome. Ultimately, setbacks help us set up for a comeback!

 

In order to recover from the end of our marriage, we’re going to relive some of our hardest moments, but also get the chance to deal with all the emotions and repercussions so that we can step into the next chapter healed.

 

How do we change how we react and respond to setbacks? What steps can we take to make sure our process of dealing with divorce is not self-destructive? In this episode, I share how setbacks help us heal and how to come to terms with divorce in a healthy way. 

 

3 Things You’ll Love About This Episode 

 

Why you...

Continue Reading...

How to Successfully Negotiate with a Narcissist w/Rebecca Zung

podcast May 27, 2020

Going through a divorce is a difficult process as it is, no matter the circumstances or the people involved. Dealing with a narcissistic former partner doesn’t make things any easier. 

 

A lot of the time, narcissists are determined to make the divorce process even harder than it needs to be, by withholding documents, filing a huge number of complaints and refusing to cooperate.

 

It can seem counterintuitive if we are trying to avoid conflict, but when it comes to divorcing a narcissist, the best thing we can do is be prepared for a fight. 

 

How can we negotiate with a narcissist and do we even stand a chance of winning? 

 

On this episode, top divorce attorney, bestselling author and media personality, Rebecca Zung shares how to negotiate with a narcissist and win!

 

 

3 Things You’ll Love About This Episode 

 

How to identify different types of narcissists

Narcissist is a broadly-used term. We have to be able...

Continue Reading...

Self-Compassion

Uncategorized May 20, 2020

One thing I’ve discovered is that we are so often very unkind and judgmental of ourselves, in a way we’d never be to anybody else. We also tend to be unkind to ourselves when we need self-love and self-acceptance the most. 

 

Our lack of self-compassion makes it harder for us to move through hard and challenging times like divorce. 

 

You see, true self-love and acceptance goes beyond self-esteem and feeling good about ourselves when things are going well. We need to give ourselves kindness when we fail or things don’t go as planned. It comes to caring about ourselves no matter how fragile or imperfect we are. 

 

What is the difference between self-love and self-compassion? How do we embrace self-compassion and maintain it through the highs and lows of our lives? In this episode, I talk about the power of self-compassion and the steps we can take to achieve it. 

 

 

3 Things You’ll Love About This Episode 

...

Continue Reading...

How The Better Apart Method Can Help You Heal in Divorce w/Gabrielle Hartley

podcast May 13, 2020

The portrayal of divorce in the media doesn’t put people going through a split on a healthy or healing path. An acrimonious and bitter divorce does not create the inner narratives that bring emotional freedom or the legacy we want to give our children. 

 

We require a space for patience and positivity, a process that will improve our lives going forward. This is where the Better Apart Method comes in. 

 

What steps do we need to take to heal and live more wholeheartedly after a divorce? How do mantras envelope our thinking and change our way of being? How do we grieve our marriages in a constructive way? 

 

In this episode, I’m joined by divorce lawyer mediator, author, speaker and founder of the Better Apart Method, Gabrielle Hartley. She talks about a different approach to divorce, and why it’s changing lives.

 

3 Things You’ll Love About This Episode 

 

  • How to go from reacting in a heightened state to...
Continue Reading...
1 2
Close

50% Complete

Two Step

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua.