For most human beings, it’s terrifying to show our real selves and let people see beneath the armor we present to the world.
We see vulnerability as risky because it reveals our flaws and creates the possibility of being judged or worse, hurt. However feeling vulnerable doesn’t mean we’re in danger. It’s actually something we get to embrace.
The armor we wear is nothing more than our attempt to numb ourselves from feelings we urgently need to face. When we go through a trauma like divorce, this is where that starts to chip away. This isn’t a bad thing, it’s actually an opportunity for massive growth and self-acceptance.
You see, exposing our true feelings of fear, insecurity, and pain is a risk worth taking. When we deny our vulnerability, we cause ourselves more pain.
How can we start to brave the world without our armor and face the uncomfortable emotions we have? Why do we need to stop chasing perfection and excellence? In...
When we leave something, whether it’s a place, a job, or a relationship, we aren’t just closing a chapter. We’re leaving a dream, an identity, and an enormous component of ourselves.
But here’s the thing, leaving isn’t the same as letting go. People can leave a bad marriage and still cling to it mentally and emotionally.
True healing happens when we have the courage to completely release the past, and listen to that inner truth that tells us we’re meant for better. The journey to letting go isn’t easy, but it is one worth taking.
Once we leave our past in the rearview, and stop looking back at it, we can fully step into that new chapter and experience the gift divorce can be.
How do we examine ourselves and determine what our inner voice is trying to tell us? What does moving on actually look like? In this episode, I’m joined by Jill Sherer Murray. She is a TEDx speaker, influencer, and author of the brilliant...
When we’re going through divorce, the emotional upheaval can be so distressing and unsettling that inner peace seems impossible. With everything going on in the world, is it even possible to lead a peaceful life?
Yes. It absolutely is!
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that we can’t always control what’s happening around us, but we do have the power to choose how it affects us. Peace doesn’t mean the absence of challenges. It’s the ability to choose tranquility by controlling our emotional and mental state.
When we have peace, it impacts the filter we see the world through, it changes the stories we tell ourselves, and it releases our attachment to the past and the future so we can live in the present.
What are some of the things that hold us back from inner peace? How can we become neutral towards the things that happen to us, and why is that a strength, not a weakness? In this episode, I discuss why inner peace...
Bad relationships drain us of our happiness, purpose, and most of all, our best selves. When people leave an abusive or traumatic relationship, they may feel like strangers to themselves. So often, we find that we can’t recognize who we became in that situation, and it feels impossible to reconnect with ourselves.
Divorce is a powerful catalyst for taking the journey to self-rediscovery. We get to make changes to our lives on our own terms, break out of the box we were in, and unlock all the amazing and unique things that make us who we are.
I know it’s hard to see through the fog of fear and doubt after a marriage ends, but trust me. On the other side is more joy and authenticity than you could ever imagine.
Why do bad relationships take so much from us? How can we start reclaiming ourselves after losing our identity? In this episode, I’m joined by coach and founder of the You Get To Be You This Time program, Veronika Archer. We talk about...
WHAT IS A NARCISSIST?
“Narcissism” has become the go-to word when describing the personality types that are characterized by selfishness, entitlement, validation-seeking, and lack of empathy. In today’s society, we hear the words ‘Narcissist’ or ‘Narcissism’ tossed around casually to describe the people whom we find obnoxiously pompous and arrogant. Although these descriptions may be accurate, these individuals might actually be living with, what clinicians call, Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
In order for an individual to be diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder as defined by the DSM-5, he or she must meet the following criterion:
Going through a divorce doesn’t just make us question ourselves, it can also shake our faith tremendously. It’s normal to ask our Higher Power why this is happening to us, and what we did to deserve this pain.
It can feel like the Universe is working against us, and that can make us want to turn our back on our faith, but this is when we need it the most. Faith is how we see past our temporary darkness and believe in the light ahead of us. Faith is how we stop being a victim of divorce and realize that this is happening to help us, not hurt us.
You’re meant for more than your unhappy marriage, and you’re meant for more than the pain you’re experiencing right now. When we can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, all we can do is step out on the faith of knowing that the Universe has our back.
How can we lean into our faith as we go through a divorce? Why is it so important for us not to hold onto fear and suffering? In this...
Many of us worry that divorce will have long lasting negative impacts on our kids, that the trauma to our kids is inevitable. But if we come at the process from a place of love and understanding, we can minimize the trauma and stop it from affecting them in the long run.
That’s not always easy when we’ve already established a contentious dynamic with our exes.
It all comes down to keeping our children at the center of our decisions. If we agree to focus on our children's best interests, we can escape the true cause of long-term trauma: nasty litigation.
How can we shift from a bitter dispute to an amicable co-parenting relationship?
In this episode, host of the critically acclaimed The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast, Kate Anthony explains how putting our kids at the center of our divorce can make for a more amicable split.
3 Things You’ll Love About This Episode
How inner work fosters a friendlier dynamic
To create an...
When we go through a break up or divorce, sometimes it’s just easier to focus on what’s wrong with you and your life vs. what’s positive and going well. When we take the time to consider the good instead of focusing on the bad, we start to see how beautiful life is and how we are taking steps to move forward.
I recently read an article where Robert Emmons, Ph.D., a leading scientific expert on gratitude, talked about how in times of crisis, gratefulness is not only helpful, but essential. He states that, “It is precisely under crisis conditions when we have the most to gain by a grateful perspective on life. In the face of demoralization, gratitude has the power to energize. In the face of brokenness, gratitude has the power to heal. In the face of despair, gratitude has the power to bring hope. In other words, gratitude can help us cope with hard times.”
Whether you’re currently working with a mediator or divorce lawyer, wondering...
As a woman who is observant and has led a somewhat observant lifestyle (except for a crab or lobster roll here and there), divorce presented an interesting hiccup. You see, in Judaism it takes a lot more than lawyers, a judge and a final divorce decree to declare your divorce is final. It involves uncoupling in the eyes of G-d via a get, or a divorce document, handed to the woman by the man in front of witnesses and a Jewish court. And with it comes a lot of old school of thought challenges, outdated customs plus a spiritual “cutting of the cord” that changed me from that day forward.
When a Jewish woman and man get married, part of the wedding planning process involves picking out a ketubah, or a Jewish marriage contract. The ketubahis signed before the ceremony, and its purpose is to outline the rights and responsibilities of the groom to his bride. It is typically framed like a work of art and displayed in your home – I always joked...
I know every single one of you have heard a flight attendant say “put your oxygen mask on first before you put one on your child.” Or perhaps the old saying “you can’t pour from an empty pitcher.” Either way, these are TRUE statements meant to reinforce WHY you get to take care of yourself first. #TRUTHBOMB - the reason being is that if you don’t, you are truly no good to anyone else.
And I know I know . . . COVID, divorce, life, kids, job, money, family, school etc. You are not alone in feeling like you are barely keeping your head above water and self-care or as I like to call it, self-investment, feels like a luxuryvs. a necessity. Right now, sleep is all you can manage and even that isn’t going so well.
Throughout your divorce process, no matter where you are at, everything about life and those who depend on you (aka your kids) feel really urgent. Your mediation is coming up, you have documents to...