For most people, the idea of a ‘happy divorce’ is incredibly confusing. How can those words even belong in the same sentence? If we’re capable of being happily divorced, should we not just consider getting back together with our former spouses? The truth is, it isn’t that simple.
It’s possible to love an ex-spouse without being in love with them, and that’s what we need to aim for if we want to successfully co-parent with them.
Still, divorce can be a warzone and there are many landmines we have to get past if we want to be genuinely happily divorced.
The best way to move past the landmines is by agreeing to put our children first, in every decision we make.
On this episode, co-founders of Our Happy Divorce, Nikki DeBartolo and Ben Heldfond share how to move beyond the warzone and embrace a happier divorce.
3 Things You’ll Love About This Episode
Take out the ‘co-’ and just be parents
When we choose to have children, we make a vow to protect them and put their best interests at heart. A divorce doesn’t need to change that, our children should always be at the center of our interactions.
Be upfront with new partners
One of the biggest landmines we deal with in divorce is the prospect of our former spouse starting a new relationship. The best way to ensure our new partners respect our happy divorce dynamic is by being upfront about what we are trying to achieve.
Keep moving forward
It’s easy to think back to how our former spouses used to be- but we have to acknowledge the changes they have made. Embrace the new person they’ve become and instead of dwelling on the past, commit to moving forward from every landmine we may encounter.
Co-Founders of Our Happy Divorce, Ben Heldfond and Nikki DeBartolo understand that no divorce is ever easy, especially for those involved. After nearly a decade together, the couple decided to split and find ways to happily navigate a divorce and created Our Happy Divorce, a service empowering and inspiring people to think differently about divorce, co-parenting, step-parenting, and what it means to put kids first. Nikki and Ben co-authored, "Our Happy Divorce: How Ending Our Marriage Brought Us Closer Together." The two have been featured on Good Morning America, Yahoo!, Fatherly, Modern Mom, Thrive Global and Parents. Today, Nikki and Ben are committed to co-parenting their son, while living just 7 houses apart.
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