You are NOT Your Results

Uncategorized May 07, 2020

Today I want to talk about something I heard and learned that profoundly moved me and that simple phrase was “You are not your results."  I remember thinking – YES I AM!  How many of you think the same thing? My results define what I’ve done, what I’ve accomplished, who I am.  And if my results are not that, then what are they?

How many of you have struggled with not feeling enough?  So many of us struggle with this internally – Why? The world we live in today is results-oriented and we are either rewarded or punished based on our outcomes or results.  Rewards come in the form of praise, money, admiration, love, to name a few. And punishment comes in the form of judgement, isolation, rejection, ridicule, etc.  How many of you growing up received a reward for good grades? We learned very young that rewards come with results – big ones. So we become accustomed to striving for...

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Narcissism: The 3 Things That Drive A Narcissist

podcast May 06, 2020

Divorcing a narcissistic spouse has its own unique set of issues and emotions. If we’re not equipped to deal with them, the breaking up and co-parenting process can be incredibly frustrating, especially when we’ve woken up to who this person truly is. 

 

When narcissists realize that they are losing their pedestal status, we see another side of them, a side that’s actually triggered by fear. You see, a narcissist is terrified of what their identity means without the way we see them. 

 

What actually drives a narcissist’s behavior? How do we cope with their manipulation tactics? In this episode, I talk about how to avoid falling into the old patterns with a narcissist, and how to stand in our own power. 

 

 

3 Things You’ll Love About This Episode 

  • The truth about narcissism and why a narcissist’s ego is their only protection they have from the world. 
  • How to overcome the manipulation of narcissists,...
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How to Pivot From Stuck in the Past to Looking Forward In Your Divorce Process w/Susan Guthrie

podcast Apr 29, 2020

Divorce can truly be the greatest gift that we can give ourselves. Many people going through it are so focused on what they think they’ve lost, that they are completely unaware of what they are gaining. 

 

This leads to them focusing on the past and seeking some way to punish themselves or their soon-to-be ex, instead of looking forward to their next best chapter. It’s so critical to start to change the focus so that we come out on the other side happier and ready to create the life we want. 

 

What is the difference between emotional reactions and practical responses? How do we set ourselves up for a less negative divorce process? In this episode, I’m joined by nationally recognized Family Law and Mediation Attorney and podcast host, Susan Guthrie. She draws on 30 years of helping clients and her own divorce experience, and shares the roadmap to getting through divorce. 



 

3 Things We Learned From This Episode

 

The difference...

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Let Go Of Fear

podcast Apr 22, 2020

Sometimes it feels like society tells us that showing our pain is a sign of weakness, and this is especially true for people going through a divorce. 

 

We put pressure on ourselves to portray an image that we’re doing great even when we’re having a hard time. 

 

There is no template for how we should look or feel as we struggle through the pain of divorce, but the truth is, we will struggle with sadness, loneliness, doubt and fear. 

 

Part of my work is to take the shame and embarrassment out of divorce to allow and give permission for women to feel their pain without feeling weak. How do we cope with the hard days of divorce? How can we rediscover ourselves and also stop feeling ashamed of having those bad days? 

 

In this episode, I share how to navigate the emotions of divorce and reasons to appreciate this new season in your life. 

 



 

3 Things We Learned From This Episode

 

You are allowed to feel crappy...

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It’s OK Not to Be OK

podcast Apr 22, 2020

Sometimes it feels like society tells us that showing our pain is a sign of weakness, and this is especially true for people going through a divorce. 

 

We put pressure on ourselves to portray an image that we’re doing great even when we’re having a hard time. 

 

There is no template for how we should look or feel as we struggle through the pain of divorce, but the truth is, we will struggle with sadness, loneliness, doubt and fear. 

 

Part of my work is to take the shame and embarrassment out of divorce to allow and give permission for women to feel their pain without feeling weak. How do we cope with the hard days of divorce? How can we rediscover ourselves and also stop feeling ashamed of having those bad days? 

 

In this episode, I share how to navigate the emotions of divorce and reasons to appreciate this new season in your life. 

 

3 Things We Learned From This Episode

 

You are allowed to feel crappy as you...

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How to Tame Your Inner Critic & Live On Your Own Terms

podcast Apr 22, 2020

We all have self-criticism and self-sabotaging voices that hold us back, the dreaded inner critic. This voice wants to make us more acceptable to others by criticizing and correcting our behavior, so we don’t get rejected or hurt. 

 

They are built on expectations placed on us by parents, caregivers, peers and the media; not on what actually fulfills us. It’s an attempt to control you by molding you to the world’s criteria and that you’re broken. You’re not broken, you’ve just been believing your inner critic for far too long. 

 

If you’re struggling with negative self-talk and wondering how to silence those voices, what are the first steps you need to take? How do we separate ourselves from our inner critics? 

 

On this episode, I talk about how to stop succumbing to the pressure of the inner critic, how to actually work with your inner critic to get more desirable outcomes and see the voices as a catalyst...

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Keys to Turning Your Divorce Into Your Next Best Life

podcast Apr 22, 2020

Free but scared and empty, that’s how I felt the moment I told my husband I wanted a divorce. I knew that it wasn’t working, and I couldn’t recognize myself when I looked in the mirror, and I didn’t know who I was without him. 

 

This was the beginning of my journey to becoming a divorced recovery specialist. 

 

To initiate my true transformation, I had to search for answers, rediscover myself, stand in my power and design a life I love. I know it’s not an easy process because I’ve been on that journey. 

 

If you’re feeling stuck and don’t know how to get your transformation going, I’m here to tell you that you can do it. Whether you’re still deciding whether to stay or go, about to file, going through the divorce or you’re on the other side of it, this podcast is for you.  

 

Welcome to The Divorced Woman’s Guide Podcast. I’m so happy you’ve decided to...

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4 SECRETS to Decide - To Divorce or Not To Divorce - That is the Question in a World of Covid-19

So many couples are working within very close proximity with one another these days that is it challenging to create space or leave the house.  And your home is probably feeling especially small if you are someone contemplating divorce or just started the process and are still living your your soon-to-be-ex.

Either way, many people are considering if NOW is the right time to file or if this is the decision they still want to make. While you shouldn’t rush to make an impulsive decision just because your spouse may be annoying to you, I want to share 4 tips on what you can do now to help you decide if and when the time is right for you - aka move forward.

1. Free writing/Journaling: 

I love to journal and free write!  Why?  Because it helps me sort through what I feel AND let's me say things I would never say out loud.  You might ask yourself questions like why do I want a divorce? What am I most scared about...

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